Showing posts with label Blog.
Showing posts with label Blog.

Sunday, October 26, 2014

Not just another blog post

Some bloggers don't share enough and some share too much. I tend to retreat from my blog when things get difficult in my personal life because part of my healing process is (regretful) over sharing. This is why you may have noticed the many posting hiatuses over here at Rockland Mother over the past few years.

So, here I am again after another hiatus and, forgive me as I'm going to forgive myself, but this is one thing I feel I need to over share: I am getting divorced.

Ugh. Its really painful to write that for all the world to see. Though over half of marriages fail these days, we of course never imagine we'll find ourselves in this terrible predicament. We hear about celebrities getting married and divorced every day and it seems like cake; sign the paper, move on. But, really, it is so much more awful than that.

First, you beat yourself up and second guess yourself about all the things that you may have done wrong or could have done differently. And, honestly, you'll beat yourself up about these things long after the papers are signed. Even if you've tried most everything to save your marriage, there'll be a little voice that says "If I had just done everything he/she had wanted, maybe we could have stayed together and been happy!" Man, that little voice is an asshole.

Second, especially if you've been in a particularly tenuous situation for a long time, you may find yourself dealing with some anxious and/or sad emotions that truly and honestly suck. Some days you'll feel like you are ready to move on and take the bull by the horns. Other days, you'll try on your wedding rings or look through your wedding album and cry silently to yourself so that your kids don't hear. Each day is a surprise party of emotions that you may or may not welcome. Surprise! Your future will not turn out as planned! People around you will tell you to "get over yourself" or "just deal with it," and you won't be able to make them understand what it feels like to be just one when you were two.

If you have kids, be prepared for you heart to be torn into shreds on many different occasions. You will worry about them when they are not with you. You will worry about them when they are with you but are missing the other parent. You will worry about what their future will look like as children of divorced parents (i.e. you will have nightmares of them ending up in prison.) You will find yourself overcompensating for the parent who can not or does not want to be there.

Your children may say things to you like "I wish mommy and daddy and my brother and me could be all together." And, even though you know that that scenario wouldn't be in anybody's best interest, you can feel your resolve slipping away. You'll want to run to the courthouse and rip up the papers. "Stop this ride! I want to get off!"

You'll look at the person you probably still love and you may try to be as nice as possible, but divorce brings out the ugly in people. You'll only be hurt again and again if you expect kindness to always come your way.

Oh, and if you're Catholic like me, you'll worry about your immortal soul.

Its sounds horrible, right? Well, its all this and maybe some more. BUT, I take heart from so many people who have survived this. They may be changed, but they still go on and, at this point, moving forward is the only way to go. I will let the little moments of happy sustain me until there's only mostly blue skies ahead. I will savor every little kiss and "I love you. I always want to be with you." from my little boys. I will sing when I like and I will try to remember that the Earth continues to spin.

Thank you for listening and, if you have been or are in the same spot, please know you are not alone. A little over sharing can sometimes make us feel better. I know I do now. xo

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Blog: Rockland Mother's New Look!

Hi everybody! I know it's been a long time since you've heard from me here at Rockland Mother, but I've been hard at work on a new look for the site. I hope you like it and I hope the new layout makes it easier for folks to track down specific reviews. Please don't hesitate to comment if you don't think I've succeeded at this at all, though!

I hope you are all well and I look forward to getting in the swing of posting regularly again. My two little guys give me permission now to step away from the playroom for a few minutes or so, so you'll be hearing a lot more from me soon. :)

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Blog: She's alive!

Yup, I'm still hanging in there. Sure, I experience sleep deprivation torture the like of Guantanamo Bay, but I've got two adorable little faces (and the occasional glass of sangria) to pull me back from the brink of insanity. So here's what's been going down in the Rockland Mother household...

Liam is 4.5 months old and in the 91st percentile for height and weight! He's a giant bundle of pumpkin-headed love who doesn't like to sleep, but makes up for it with loads of smiles and his new habit of making fart noises with his mouth.

Andrew is going to be three in January! He started going to school two days a week this month and he loves it so much he doesn't want to come 36棋牌 at the end of the day. I'm so glad he isn't afraid to go, but its of course bittersweet to see my little boy growing up so quickly! Also, I'm just a little bit embarrassed when he kicks and screams when I pick him up (I promise, folks, he gets more than enough love, food and toys at 36棋牌!!)

My husband (have I ever talked to you about him? Whoops.) is working his butt off every day and, while we don't see him as much as I'd like to, he's saving up so that we can buy a house. We've been looking around for said house, but man is it rough out here in Rockland. The houses are still expensive, and we're just afraid to become so house poor that we can't take the boys out to do fun things. We're gonna have to bite the bullet some day, though, no matter how much I do love having my parents upstairs to help us... stressful!

And, me? I'm still trying to get into a groove with the two little ones and lose the baby weight! I'm on Weight Watchers (again) and trying to find time and the drive for exercise. I really should start posting updates for accountability on the blog, but do you guys really want to see me fail so miserably? Egh, maybe you'll kick me in the (extra-padded) butt and help me slim down for my best friend's April wedding? Do I have to beg you??

Well, until next time!

Saturday, June 9, 2012

Blog: Welcome36棋牌 Liam!

Brand-spanking new!
So, you may have noticed that I've been absent from blogging for quite awhile and it is because of a totally wonderful reason--Liam has arrived! Our second little boy was born on May 3rd and weighed in at 7 lbs 6 oz and 20 in. He is adorable and we are slowly but surely getting into the groove of being a new family of four.

I'll be posting more often now that Liam is over a month old and hanging out in his baby seat awhile more now (and not always eating or in my arms!) I've got reviews of Good Samaritan Hospital in mind, a review of my double stroller--the Joovy Ergo Caboose--and a whole lot more... because being a mommy of two is a whole lot different and requires more accouterments!

entered the baby guessing game, she's the lucky winner of 3 handmade soaps from ! She is a wonderful mommy and deserves this special gift so I won't berate you all for not participating in my little game. (But next time you are all in trouble.) I'll be in touch soon, Sara!